Dating a recovering alcoholic first year
It seemed quite natural to me that most people I knew ingested enormous amounts of alcohol and then rolled out of bed the next morning with no hangover.
I was 39 when Bruno proposed to me via satellite phone while I was in Somalia. ‘Let’s get married, let’s have a baby,’ he said, as a gun battle raged outside my hotel room in Mogadishu. ‘I don’t ever want to lose you.’I should have noticed, but didn’t, how thin Bruno had become, how obsessed he was with working, and how brave - but foolhardy, really - he was when he drove through heavy fire to rescue a friend and her child and take them to the airport. When he called me, he sounded sober - but he was not.
After our time together in Sarajevo, we didn’t see each other for five years.
He was based in Paris, I was based in London, and we were constantly sent all over the world.
Maybe I didn’t see it because everyone I knew drank.
He was the most macho man I had ever met and also the most sensitive - the combination was irresistible.Both in our late 20s, and just starting out in our careers as war correspondents, both of us had already been tear-gassed in angry crowds in the Middle East, travelled with rebel armies in Algeria, and passed checkpoints at night, hoping we would not get shot.We met when he fell on his knees in front of me in the lobby of the Holiday Inn, the hotel on sniper’s alley in Sarajevo where all the journalists lived.I sat at the desk thinking of Bruno in the hospital, alone, tired, scared. He came home within a few weeks, but he was never really the same again. The same courage that kept him alive in war zones all those years sent him to Alcoholic Anonymous and he began doing their famous 12-step programme.I thought of how much responsibility he had taken on, so quickly after coming back from Africa. Like many wives living with alcoholic husbands, I was not an addict or an alcoholic and, therefore, I was an outsider.We next met in the middle of another war, this time in Algeria.We stayed up all night every night talking, and, of course, drinking.He later told me he was drinking whisky in the morning, just to make it through the terror of the day: the road blocks, the mass graves, the dead bodies. Maybe I was addicted to romance, at least this high-octane cinematic romance of a man barging through a door, coming from a war zone, laden with exotic gifts: precious stones from Madagascar, where he had been beaten up during a riot; a silk evening gown from a clandestine mission filming child slaves in Burma; an enormous diamond from South Africa after he had worked undercover in Zimbabwe.I was the girl with the broken wing, and he saw me as someone fragile, someone who needed looking after, someone who wandered too often into dangerous places alone and needed someone to come charging in like Superman to rescue me. In the winter of 2004, we settled in Paris and had a son, Luca. But he was drinking every single night and not sleeping, and sinking into a hopeless depression, the result of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. COM Dating a Recovering Addict: Match-Maker or Deal-Breaker … Girlfriend of Bill: 12 Things You Need to Know about Dating …First, the recovering addict should have at least one year of sobriety, and preferably many more. Being in a new relationship is hard enough, but if the person you’re dating is a recovering alcoholic or addict, there may be more to consider than just mutual …